With these action figures, I can relive the All-Valley Karate Championships of 1984. Over and over. Just like the middle-aged stars of Cobra Kai.
T’was the summer of ’84.
I was ending seventh grade when my English teacher, Mrs. B., handed out a short story published in some Scholastic newsletter.
The title of it was “The Karate Kid.”
We read the entire story in class. My immediate reaction? Disappointment at the lack of ninjas in it.
But that summer, my brother and his college roommate took me to go see the movie and a lifelong fan was born. So when Remco released a line of The Karate Kid action figures in 1986, of course, I bought all six characters—even though they weren’t exactly the coolest-looking action figures.
I mean, the likenesses weren’t bad. Here’s Daniel LaRusso, looking like a bloated Ralph Macchio. But instead of baby browns, they gave him black eyes.
However, the head looks way out of proportion with the rest of his body. Maybe it’s the spring-loaded karate-chop and kicking action features, triggered by buttons on the back, that made the bodies so stocky, but not buff-stocky like He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Just weird stocky.
Two years earlier, Remco had released a line of figures called “Secret of the Ninja,” one of which is pictured on the left below. It’s obvious that they reused some of the molds from that line to make the bodies for The Karate Kid figures.
Daniel came with a board-breaking accessory and a “Wisdom of Miyagi” scroll that I have since lost.
Next up is Miyagi. Not a bad likeness of Pat Morita—throw a paper cook hat and apron on him and you’d have Arnold from Happy Days.
Miyagi came with a fabric gi—complete with bonsai crest on it— a scroll, and the same board-breaking accessory as Daniel-san, though I wish it would have come with a beer bottle that he could break in front of the guy who called him “Mister Moto” through buck teeth.
And now, here’s Johnny.
Kind of hard to see William Zabka’s likeness in this toy, probably because he’s generally a good-looking guy with no features that would stand out on a hand-sculpt of his face. Johnny comes with a black gi (which oddly features the logo from the tournament instead of the iconic Cobra Kai symbol), and instead of a breaking board, he comes with a brick wall that he can beat the crap out of.
His sensei, Kreese, also comes with a brick wall to break. Not a bad figure. I think it looks enough like Martin Kove that I want to punch him in the face.
The Karate Kid Part II figures received a bit of an upgrade. Instead of having a fabric gi over molded plastic ones, the Sato and Chozen figures both have a fabric gi only, allowing for some shirtless brawling if that’s your thing.
Plus, their left wrists are articulated to allow for karate chops to the neck, or to make the figures beg for help or spare change.
Chozen comes with the same breaking board as Miyagi and Daniel-san, while Sato comes with an iron chain to break. That’s how you know he’s a bad mofo—he breaks iron chains with frickin’ karate chops.
All of these figures had the same two action moves—a chop with the right hand and a front kick with the left foot.
No crane kick for Daniel-san.
No leg sweep for Johnny.
This made for some rather awkward-looking battles.
Decades later, more Karate Kid figures would be released by companies like Funko and NECA, the latter of which made some highly detailed figures. They don’t have the same charm as these old vintage toys, though. Like the movie itself, these Remco figures were products of the 80s, and every time I pick one up, I hear Bananarama in my head.
Are you a fan of The Karate Kid? What do you think of Cobra Kai? Let me know in the comments!
